Response to Emily's Draft

1. Does the draft have a main point (thesis)?
Yes…. I believe this is the thesis. "They are important fisheries, they help scientists identify water quality, and protect coastlines form erosion." However she does not talk about all these things in her draft.

2. Find an instance of what you consider an interesting or useful example, image, chart, etc. and explain why.

"Although coral reefs are threatened by natural disasters and events, human impacts such as over fishing, pollution, and global warming increase coral reef degradation."

I believe this is important for people to know when it comes to coral reefs because if more people knew about this fact and gave a Damn…. Perhaps they would think twice before they pollute the air, or fish with greed.

"Reefs can only survive under certain environmental conditions although corals need sunlight to survive, over-exposure to UV rays can dry out the coral. With prolonged exposure to the UV rays, corals can become stressed and release their zooxanthellae, resulting in coral bleaching."

I also find this sentence to be useful information because if more people knew about this maybe they would re consider how they contribute to global warming.

3. Find a place in the paper that you consider confusing or boring and explain why.

"Using less water will help reduce the amount of waste water polluting the ocean. "

I know I am not the best writer in the world however this sentence is confusing to me. I don't understand what she means by this statement.

4. Does the draft acknowledge where information comes from IN THE BODY OF THE TEXT? (the bibliography does not count for this question)....... No she does not list any sources therefore I do not know where she got her information from

5. If the draft has a fictional "human interest story," discuss whether it is convincing/imaginative/detailed or forced/tedious/general. ......... As it stands she has not yet come to the part of the draft that requires a fictional character

6. Would you recommend that the writer get some help with grammar before turning in the last draft? Why? Why not? She hasn’t written much on her draft so it is hard to tell. However she does need to put new paragraphs where needed.